The experience you’ve lived through with other leaders is a huge catalyst or wet towel for your big dream. Experience is a great teacher – but only if you learn from it. The key is not the experience you have, but what you’ve learned from it. You are not a victim of your corporate cultures, your lifeless marriage, or dysfunctional partnership. You always have the freedom to choose your personal culture. All humans desire a deep reservoir of rewarding experiences, transformational relationships at home and work, a smooth paved road to the promised land, and a sense that they’re well on their way. If you’ve been blessed with any of these, be grateful. Be grateful. However, don’t despair if your history has come up lacking – instead learn. Remember, high performance humans win and learn, lose and learn, epically fail and learn even more. Live and learn, right?
We may not control circumstances, other people, and the experiences life thrusts upon us. We choose our response. We choose our deepest held beliefs. Victimhood is becoming quite crowded in our modern, coddled world. Do not expect coddling when you’re becoming BTL. Expect more challenges to your belief system than consoling. Your builder is not here to make you feel better. Your builder is here to make you better. You will experience acute pain through this experience. Peace and joy will be found too, mostly on the other side of the pain you’ve been put through on purpose. Do you believe this?
Recently we challenged a client to embody his beliefs. He said he got it. He wasn’t even in the neighboring zip code. I challenged him as did two of my fellow builders. He didn’t get it. I know this because he kept nodding along instead of falling to his knees. By the way, I don’t get much either. I learn for a living. I am literally paid every, single day to show up to practice after practice and learn. I am a student of human nature and still haven’t figured out mine. Sometimes I know 99% of what my client is going to say before they say it. I’ve studied them for years and know their tendencies better than they do, oftentimes. I know they mostly listen to their own voice and yet I continue to try to give them mine. I know to be quiet and yet still open my pie hole. I too am stuck in the knowing/doing trap – I know what to do and still don’t do it. I don’t get it. I’m starting to make my peace with this. I’m in the fight but stopping the struggle. The more I learn, the less I know. What deeply held beliefs or yours do you need to embody more than you mouth? What are you doing to close your knowing/doing gap? Why are you so learned about others and so uneducated about self? Slow down and go deeper, my surface loving friend. Go deeper with what you think you know. Experience is overrated. The truth is only if you learn from it. Good.
Live hard. Love harder (Thanks, Meeks)…