Gallup and Gottman agree…

During practice 163 without kman but with his krazies, we had a ton o fun playing in the emotional intelligence essential. We learned a bit about the male brains tendency to go turtle, detach and fix things. And the females tendency to feel, ruminate, and deeply attach. We learned we’re all some kinda combination of both and uniquely ourselves. Mastery will require all of us to build neural networks that lean against our hard wiring. We tasted a variety of emotions around this team of twenty some mostly twenty somethings. Today, this team built some trust and tasted some chemistry. Petey nailed the most recent Gallup survey data on emotional triggers at work. Good science. Gallups top trigger at work was the same one Gottman’s  research would describe as the number one trigger at home – condescending. Gallups triggers were:

 

Condenscending and lack of respect, being treated unfairly, feeling unappreciated, feeling that you are not being listened to or heard, and being held to unrealistic deadlines.

 

Funny, in BTL practice we hit on all of these and then some. Your strong core is the recipe for realistic results. Your strong core is the enabler to you standing for great results and then exceeding what you thought possible. Your strong core informs your response to weak, wrong, and those who’ve been wronged. Your strong core and emotional intelligence work hand in hand as we’ll discover together. Yes, friend, we’re going to be parked in this essential for awhile and it’s going to be really good. We’re going to become more emotionally intelligent individually and collectively. We’re going to slow down in the right way. We’re going to slow down to speed up. We’re going to become better men and women and lean against good, strong tendencies. And, of course, we’re not going to eliminate conflict. We’re going to deal with it sooner and handle it more effectively. As Daniel Goleman wrote in his book, Emotional Intelligence, we’re going to benefit from this learning at work and at home. “The slowness of men to bring up problems in a relationship is no doubt compounded by their relative lack of skill when it comes to reading facial expression. Thus a woman has to be all the sadder for a man to notice her feelings in the first place, let alone for him to raise the question of what is making her so sad.” Slow down and sit with this learning for awhile.

 

Do you know your emotional triggers?

 

Are you aware of your early warning signals that your body sends you seconds before you react?

 

Are you learning to regulate and control your emotions or are you simply enslaved by how you feel?

 

Your triggers are not the problem. You and I need to build our emotional intelligence. You choose. Your choices have consequences. Choose better. Good…

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