7 good minutes is a beautifully designed conversation built for deep connection. When performed by a master it results in the exact brain chemistry we all want a bit more of – a brain in flow.
We practice this drill every week in BTL team practice and it’s still providing us with nuanced learning as if we’ve only gotten started. You see, 7 good minutes plays to our sense of justice. We all want to be heard and understood. Yet, if you want to see someone squirm just practice 7 good minutes asking them curious questions in front of their peers. Talk about peer pressure. You see, friend, most humans get uncomfortable simply sharing with others who they are. So, they hold us at arms length when we try to get to know the real them. This fact is simply part of human nature. Most humans hold other humans at arms length out of fear. We fear being found out, we fear being boring, we fear being seen as small town or big time, we fear being perceived as too much or too little. So, we hide, even when those trying to find us have nothing but the best of intentions.
7 good minutes is designed for deep connections. It’s designed to put both brains into a flow state. It only works the way it was designed to work when those doing the work strictly stick to the disciplines inherent in the design. This is not easy. We mostly communicate the way we’ve always conversed – with a focus on speaking; listening, not so much. We mostly like to sound interesting instead of mastering the art of becoming interested. Funny, like so much of life, mastery requires that we discipline ourselves away from what comes naturally. Remember, all virtue is built through “second nature.”
Build within, my friend. Build a strong core which will give you confidence, conviction, and calm. Build a strong core and then be good with it. Be who you are. Throw away the masks. Dump the false bravado or false humility. Be you. As you learn to be you at your best, you will connect with just the right human beings along this road we call your Builder’s journey. Embrace this fact. Stop worrying about being what you think others want you to be. You, btw, are a horrible predictor of what others are thinking. Stop trying. Get comfortable in the only skin that must fit you – your own. So, next time someone comes in curious or challenging, be good with it. Don’t think. Don’t panic. Don’t get put off. Don’t get anxious or defensive.
Be you. Good…