Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s more love than fear. All our BTL clients are courageous. It takes courage to hire a builder to illuminate your bullshit and blindspots. It takes courage to start anything, like a new way of eating, relating, or even something as simple as keeping your mouth shut when your mind is triggered!
The ancient Greeks were right. The opposite of fear is not courage. The opposite of fear is love. If you want to act more courageously in your MOT (moments of truth), you will when your mind is already made up, so to speak. Your mind is not made in a MOT – it’s revealed. In other words, courage is not summoned up when you most need it. Courage is built slowly in your core. In fact, courage is preloaded in your core. The more conscious you are of your worldview, identity, principles, purposes, passions, and your process, the more reflexively you act accordingly. You don’t suddenly “get the nerve.” You develop nerve by knowing who you are and what you stand for. So, when a MOT arrives you don’t think, you simply stand – in love. Slow down and sit with this for awhile, my hack loving speed freak. Slow down. Reflect.
Your problem is not your fear, anxiety, and doubt. Your problem is your core is weak. If you want to act more consistently when the heat is up or your spirit down, build more strength within. Decide now exactly who you are, what you stand for, and where you’ve got to find more love to do what you can when it matters most. Decide now. Your problem is you either think you’ve already done the work (pride), or you think you’re too busy doing stuff to slow down and build within (foolishness), or you think the real problem is out there with your parents, particular circumstances out of your control, or some other persons peculiarity that would certainly trip up anyone including you (victimhood). You are your own worst enemy (me too).
Life is difficult. There is no easy button. Courage is required. Your core is the center of both fear and love. Your job is to find more love. This requires rinsing, repairing, and real, hard, work within. You are not done. Keep working. Build more strength within, friend. As I reminded a few Head Coaches earlier this week, “If you want a better team, become a better leader.” Stop half assing the work within, leader. I don’t know about you, but I’m glad we had this talk this morning. I feel better already knowing more truth about my troubles. How ‘bout you? Good.
Live hard. Love harder…