Day 16 (Love to)…

I normally love to push myself and see what I’m capable of. This early am I tried to do just that. Legs and lungs were not having it. Every pedal stroke on the Peloton felt heavy and hard. You see, friend, my heart wasn’t fully in it. As Miss and I prepare to fly to FLA this afternoon our hearts are heavy – her brother, Reenie, is dying. We’re not sure what we’re going to get as we head south but we know we’re going to love being with him and with family. It’s going to be hard, unchosen suffering for all of us. Reenie has been living unchosen suffering for more than a decade now. He hardly ever complains even though he has plenty of reasons to do so. His heart has failed him. Lungs collapsed. Kidneys failing. His body is broken beyond repair. So, we go to him. We go to be with. We go knowing that someday we all go…

Reenie loved to wrestle growing up. He loves The Beach Boys and OSU football. He loves talking politics and figuring out solvable problems. He has a math mind and a helpful spirit. He loves to help. He loves his family. We love him. So, we go.

Life is bitter and sweet. Poison and wine. Like Grappy says – focus on the good. So, we go. We focus on the good. We pray for Reenie. We go knowing not what we’re doing or what we’ll be saying. We go because of love. Slow down and reflect on where you’re going today. Are you going with a full heart or just going through the motions? Are you always on the go out of some kind of misplaced responsibility or forecasting with fear? Go with love, friend. Do good. Be good. Be with.

Live hard. Love harder…

6 thoughts on “Day 16 (Love to)…

  1. Safe travels Chet, sending some prayers and good vibes your way.

    I love working out and pressing the limits with those closest to me. In preparation for Team Assessment Vicks, Andy, Java and I had the privilege of embracing some acute pain this afternoon. What looked like to be a simple WOD was quite the contrary. 8 miles, 40-50lb ruck (Except for Java, she had about 5-7lbs), odd miles at 80% effort, even miles full go. Woof. We ran faster and pushed harder because we were together. It amazes me as to how much further I can take it when I can pull from the collective group. There is always more in the tank, sometimes I just need a little reminder.

    This type of shared suffering has built some incredible bonds and relationships in my life and most definitely falls in my “Love tos.” Once I’ve found my rhythm and am able to dial into that sweet spot, having some of my pack to my left and right, the line between labor and love starts to diminish. I’m becoming more aware of the energy management problem that life is and realizing the great value that comes from not only identifying these passions, but prioritizing them.

  2. I’m covering you and Miss in my prayers as you prepare your hearts, head south and will have the blessing to Be With Reenie. I love knowing how you will both love him. These are moments that will transcend, moments you will never regret. I’m also reminded how much I will forever be grateful that you were there with Larry at his literal last breath. It is both a temporal and an eternal gift of Being With. I’m praying for strength and grace for you both this week.

  3. Prayers up for you, Miss, Reenie and all of his family and friends this evening. May the great memories flood your spirits and fill your soul, knowing he lived well and loved harder. May your travels be safe as you go to be with him.

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