…is one of the four healers — and a must-have competence for ONEness within any relationship, family or team.
With YouTube and a little curiosity, if you like fixing stuff around the house you can figure out how to repair nearly anything broken. If so, good for you. Apply this to broken people and broken-hearts? Not good — for you or for them.
There is much to un-learn when it comes to Repair 101. When it comes to repairing relationships, the only fixing needed is in your approach and your focus. Repair 101 starts within, not with a sermon from your high horse (unless you want an apocolypse).
When we get the rule of reciprocity wrong, the way we judge another will come back to bite us. The way we measure another will be paid back in return. When we focus on someone else’s little shit, we are blinded to the big pile of stink inside of us. Repair 101 comes directly from the sermon on the mount —
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part.
Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit
to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
— Matthew 7:1-5 (MSG)
In BTL practice 30 this morning with a growing team with growing pains, we watched a beauty of a clip from Remember the Titans. Captains Julius and Gary gave us a great reminder of the power of Repair 101 in bringing a team together, and the strength of Coaches Doc and Boone who had the wisdom to not intervene.
Repair 101 takes large doses of humility and courage followed by a shot or two of truth syrum. It’s about being willing to fight not to prove a point but to improve performance. In the words of Colonel Chamberlain, it’s about fighting for each other.
Great leaders, great relationships and great teams talk about the right things at the right time with the right people in the right way. Repair 101 does the same. Restored relationship, true harmony, and true ONEness are worth the price.
Are you becoming a master repairman? Are you growing more sensitized to how you tweak another’s justice thread vs how someone tweaks yours? Are you learning to make little repairs in the moment to prevent major repairs later?
Embrace it. Live it. Love it (Thanks, Toto)…