My first week back from the brink was clarifying. Most every practice, regardless my intent, circled back to what was on many a mind – What the hell was running through your mind when you saw deaths door slowly swinging open. Many wanted to know if I was scared to death, so to speak.
The truth is I was not, not even close.
Feeling life slipping my grasp brought crystal clarity. My mind was peaceful and my brain reacted as it had been trained. I was ready to come home and didn’t want to leave. This time, unlike when the brakes went out at the top of Mount Cenis back in 2019, it felt almost completely out of my control. The brain was not focused on missing the car, threading the oncoming motorcycles, make the next turn, look for a place to lay the bike down, make the next turn, miss the car, make the next turn, look to lay it down, make the turn, there’s an uphill coming, thank you, God.
This time there was nothing to do. The doc’s, nurses, friends, and attendants were rushing around while I just laid there and observed. Surreal. So, the mind was peaceful and the brain focused on the one thing within my control – fight for another breath. Keep breathing. So, I did. Everything around me was a blur. My brain, however, was fighting for life. Each breath felt like an ordeal that words cannot express. The best I got is it was some combination of peaceful and fighting for life. Peaceful and fighting for life. So, friends, it matters a great deal that your CORE work is more than words on a page. Your CORE will serve you well in any MOT if it’s written on your heart.
Are you prepared to live today like you’re ready to come home and yet don’t want to leave? Are you scared of death or grateful for life? What are you doing to train your brain to follow your CORE instead of the input of life? Life is a test, remember. What comes out of you under pressure reveals what’s been in you all along. Slow down and sit with this for awhile. Whatever the shit storm, friend, remember this – keep breathing. You can be peaceful and fight for life. Good.
Live hard. Love harder…