…could also be titled Mental Health 101. If you were bothered Mental Health 101 appeared to be missing from our book because Day 136 is Mental Health 201 and Day 139 is Mental Health 301 — you’ll find it here.
Day 36 (self-centered and other-controlling) reminded us that excellence is built by going against your nature. All humans come into this world self-centered and other-controlling. This is our nature. Excellence is achieved when we flip ourselves on our proverbial head and move toward becoming CORE-centered and self-controlling.
So it is with Mental Health 101.
Flipping the way we think about things requires flipping the way we see things. Flipping the way we see things requires flipping our focus. Flipping our focus requires flipping our mindset. Flipping our mindset involves flipping our worldview from self-centered/other-controlling to CORE-centered/self-controlling.
Self-centered/other-controlling sees others as your #1 problem. Core-centered/self-controlling sees you as your #1 problem. Mental Health 101 yields more and more freedom, peace and effectiveness as you become more and more convinced the only thing you can control in any moment is your own response to the events and people around you. Believing you can control another person, the future, or a desired outcome is the recipe for insanity. It’s accompanied by emotional bondage, anxiety, and ineffectiveness. Paradoxically, you become a slave to the very thing you believe you can control.
A fellow builder reminded me this morning there is another side of the insanity coin. When you are self-centered/other-controlling, your grid for hearing input from another will be skewed with suspicion. What’s intended as constructive truth-in-love will be misinterpreted as someone trying to manipulate you.
Developing a strong CORE will correct your vision to 20/20 as you begin to look in the mirror, not out the window.
Want better relationships, a better team, a better culture? Become a better leader. Focus on building your CORE. As you seek to control less, you will influence more.
p.s. Here’s a good PA — write about something/someone you’ve been anxious about lately and follow the trail down the bunny hole. How have I been thinking about this? How have I been seeing this? What has been my focus? What have I been believing? How could I view this differently? Post your writing here as a comment and/or send it to a fellow builder.