…is the alpha and omega of the BTL Journey.
It begins with building a strong CORE. You can’t attain true ONEness with another without first building true oneness within–healthy relationships are only possible among those who have matured from hole to whole.
When we attempt to fill our black hole within by taking from others, it creates a self-centered/others-controlling competition to transact more from others than they from you. The one with the most power takes the most, but this “win-lose”/deficit-thinking mindset ultimately produces “lose-lose” every time. You may think you’ve won, but in the end what’s forfeited is the experience and joy you were created for–true ONEness with others. The result is a co-dependent community of victims and survivors perpetuated by fear and pride.
One of Covey’s 7 habits key to true ONEness is “win-win or no deal”. It takes the private victory of a strong CORE to say no to anything less and opt out of the lose-lose game. It can even begin with just one who has the humility and courage to flip the script and play by a higher set of rules. It’s counter-intuitive, but when you solve the problem of your black hole within by looking up and not around, you no longer depend on others to be whole, and become free to serve out of abundance. Paradoxically, in this kind of inter-dependent community, everyone’s needs get met through giving and receiving, irrespective of power or position in the food chain.
This is the omega of the Builder’s Journey — true ONEness with others. And once you’ve tasted becoming part of a culture like this, you won’t want to settle for anything less.
And–irrespective of your power or position in the food chain–you can become a BTL change-agent to awaken, challenge and transform even the most cynical Grinches in your midst from a-lone toward all-ONE–one ‘L of a difference.
Remember, going from hole to whole is one ‘w’ of a difference. Whatever worldview you’ve been playing the game of work and life by, you have the power to choose. Choose wisely–your choices have consequences–for your family, your team, your city, your country, our world.
Write. How do you want to live in 2022–a life of quiet desperation, or a life of compelling inspiration?
Dare to become CORE-centered/Self-controlling, and you’ll be the change you want to see around you. You and I can’t change another, but we can influence, and together we transform.