We all have holes. Two years ago, I had a big one blown through me: I got fired. I believe many things; among the deepest of them is that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Logically I understood this, verbally I expressed it, but emotionally I could not forgive the person who decided to fire me. What do you do when you are out of alignment and it’s causing you pain? You need to change your mind.
How was I going to change my mind? First, I started by recognizing that it’s not what happened to me that was causing my pain, it’s the story I was telling myself about it.
Then I moved to “Day 2: Why we write.” I listened to Chet, who tells us we need to write to be the CEO of Y.O.U.; and I listened to Byron Katie, who says, “You can’t stop the story inside your head, however hard you try. It’s not possible. But when you write the story, just the way the mind is telling it, with all your suffering and frustration and rage and sadness, then you can take a look at what’s swirling around inside you. You can see it brought into the material world in physical form. And, finally through The Work you can begin to understand it.”
Finally, I inquired, is my story true? And what other versions of my story are just as true? I didn’t have to accept the “turn arounds,” the truths of the opposing stories. Just the process of trying them on and seeing how they fit left me talking to myself about what had happened in a much different way. Surprisingly quickly I was FEELING much different about getting fired, and the dissonance that was created around my integrity gap regarding forgiveness quickly dissolved.
We all have holes and are looking to be whole. What’s the story you are telling yourself that is keeping open a hole? Have you written it out? Is it true? What other versions are also true? Try these versions on for size; you just might find they help you change your mind.