Feedback is the breakfast of champions, no doubt. You can get it from just about anyone if you really seek it out. AND our most trusted truth tellers are the few. Those few whose feedback can consistently slow you down and go deeper, blow your mind with an insight, change your course with a challenge.
So how do we find those few? I had a long talk with one of my few yesterday on this very topic (thanks, DD). Here were the melody lines I took from our conversation:
1 – To find your few you first have to BE fully yourself.
This involves knowing and living out who you are – the good, the bad, the ugly, the fun, the quirky, etc. If you can’t be fully yourself, if you’re holding back parts of you because they don’t jive with it, or they might judge you for it…well then you’ll never find out if they’re your few. Does that mean they have to share all of your beliefs, passions, and quirks ? Of course not. But there has to be enough to deeply connect on. To share all of that you must KNOW all of that and be living it out with integrity.
2 – Take a risk.
Sharing who you really are doesn’t come without risk. They might not like that side of you. They might not be looking for as deep of a friendship as you. They might not be in a place in their life where they’re ready. Who knows. That could sting. AND the reality was they weren’t one of the few in the first place – you just found out about it. But the upside? Off the charts.
3 – The upside.
So what is the upside? The upside is deeply connecting and living life with those few who GET you. Those few who will show up for you on your darkest days and be the first to celebrate with you on the best days. They make you better because they believe in you AND tell you what you need to hear, when you need to hear it.
4 – Go first.
If I want to find more truth tellers, be one first. If I want more people in my life that “get” me, go “get” others – get curious with them, invest, tell them and SHOW them what I want. Model the way, leader. After all, mass attracts mass.
I’ve got work to do to find more of my few. I’m guessing you do too. So let’s get after it.