None of us lives in perfect harmony. Thoughts and feelings, for every human, are a constant struggle to synchronize. Neither can be completely trusted and both have their moments. Through my research and client work, I’ve seen strong men and women overly rely on one vs the other. I tell them both the same thing, just in different ways. The over thinker I challenge to get out of their own head. The over feeler? Stop being so damn reactive, you know, think for a brief minute. Here’s the freakin’ magic, though. What does one do to stop over thinking or over reacting?
Go backwards. Tie your behavior back to beliefs. Simple, not easy.
For some the tendency is to align behavior back to feelings. I don’t feel like doing x,y,z in this moment. This human is inconsistent and only performs when they feel like it. They over trust feelings. For some the tendency is to align behavior back to thinking. This seems like a safer bet, right? It’s not. When pressure arrives there’s no time to think before acting. This person doesn’t derail due to feelings. They tend to freeze (do nothing) because they overthink in MOT. And, they feel more justified. Give me time to think and I’ll figure it out. Imagine Tom Brady overthinking. Sacked.
Feelings and thoughts are not as trustworthy as a strong CORE. If you’re BBTL, you know this. Here’s the hard question. Are you building a strong CORE every, single, day or are you overthinking it or only doing it when you feel like it? Damn.
Build a strong CORE with bolted on beliefs – Your worldview. Build a strong CORE with clarity around your identities. Build a strong CORE with principles you’ve preloaded so you don’t think, you do. Build your WIP & 3P, right? This is much stronger and sustainable than your best thinking/feeling. Your problem, as I reminded my client this early am, is you are weak in your CORE. Do the work. Align behaviors back to bolted on beliefs. Stop the easier default of depending on thoughts or feelings. A strong CORE, there is no substitute. Rinse and repeat. Never stop.
Here’s a final thought for this tiny, powerful rant. Which is easier. Move from over feeling to trusting your CORE or move from over thinking to trusting your CORE? What, friend, do you think. Correction. What do you believe?
Live hard. Love harder…