Recently I helped a client get through a major negotiation. Huge win. Likely the single biggest negotiation in his life. Here’s the key learning to this most important victory.
He chose to lose.
He let his adversary get what they wanted. My client caved to unreasonable requests. My client did not try to fix, did not use reason. My client did not attempt to get his adversary to widen their perspective. My client lost on every point but one – the one that mattered most. My client won by choosing to lose.
His negotiating opponent? The love of his life.
Your biggest victories are within. Your biggest wins are realized in relationship. You do not win by proving you’re right. You win when you lose your desire to change your loved one and instead focus on deeply changing yourself. You win when you learn to willingly, lovingly, give what you deeply desire. You win when you accept your lover and love ‘em just the way they are. This makes no cents when negotiating a contract. Makes perfect sense when negotiating from your heart toward the heart of another. Might you want to choose to lose, friend? Good.
Live hard. Love harder…