I recently asked a client if he knew what I meant by “become and belong.” Here’s the raw narrative for what it’s worth…
He told me what he thought and I told him what it meant to me. Oneness is the depth we’re after. What about become? Become is the pursuit of who you are created to be. Belong? This is the pursuit of finding your few. Maybe, if you are beyond blessed, your one who really gets you. These two (become and belong) are in conflict by design. Make sense?
We talked through how this drove Ms. xyandz away as you were becoming more who you are – it scared her. Distinct and deeply connected is a stones throw from distinct and disconnected. Damn. You told me a bit more and then we wrote for clarity. This is deep and good. The tension is where the cool stuff is. Yes? Yes indeed. Living in the tension is the good life.
To pursue becoming with a complete loss of belonging is a problem. Vice versa? Problem too. The point of tension is the righteous life. You can control who you’re becoming, at least to a great degree. You cannot create belonging. It has to happen in the heart of another human or two or three for the very, very blessed amongst us. Damn.
You wrote again at 4:37. You wrote well as you always do. ‘To become, you need to be in control. The belong piece? I need to release control, you said. How do you do both? I’m f$%#&@, you shared. The only places I belong are the places I’m in charge and giving the most. The moment they find somebody that can give them one benefit more, is the moment I’m fired. Everybody who I have any contact with the only thing they care about related to me is what did I do for them today. Could have saved their life yesterday. Doesn’t matter. Today does. I’ve succeeded because I know this. All the accolades, I don’t believe. All the praise? Nothing.’
This is not true, I reminded you, but I get it’s how you feel. Damn.
Become and belong are deeply hard wired in every human. Both are hard opus. Both are damn rare. Most of us get out of here without tasting but a sampling of either. Fact. Most of us hide, settle, chase security, and safe bets. Life is risk. The great life is found in the tension between become and belong. Compromise is a fact but a slippery slope too.
Who gets you, friend? Who knows you best? To whom have you given this most sacred and scary gift? Slow down. Reflect. Get comfortable in the tension or choose the ever popular numb the senses. You choose. Your choices have consequences. Choose compromise and choose to be who you are. Choose to risk it all to really belong. Become and belong. Is this beginning to make sense?
Live hard. Love harder…