Everybody knows when you buy stuff at an auction whether it’s in some country backyard sale or online, the highest bidder always wins. Isn’t it amazing the same holds true in love.
The happiest husbands know this truth translates at home. Our brides bid for our emotional attention all the time. They desire connection, sometimes deep, sometimes just a touch. Their bid can be something small like picking out a movie together or figuring out how to approach the school’s principal with Johnny’s homework issue. The bid can also be something BIG. Like talking about why you seem to be coming home later and later and laughing less and less.
Are you laughing less and less, together?
The happy husbands know that how we respond to small and large alike, goes a long way toward building a happy home. According to the “man,” Gottman, happy, stable couples have husbands that disregard their wives bids only 19% of the time. The ones headed for divorce disregard the brides bids for connection a staggering 82% of the time. Translation, happy couples turn toward each others emotional bids for connection the vast majority of the time. Unhappy couples don’t come close.
Men, here’s the really sad and tough part of this bid response system. The biggest problem we men have, is hearing the bid. Most men do not blow off their bride 80% of the time, they simply don’t know they’re being bid. It’s really hard to raise and respond when you don’t hear the bid. Men, this is another why behind tuning in like an animal being stalked. Next time you arrive at re-entry with your bride, practice tuning in instead of out. Hear the yearning. Good…