Today, a young lady spoke her mind in practice 172. She stirred the pot and called out her leaders both perceived and positional. Eventually the tension turned toward the outsider, me. Some truth came my way regarding language, style, and structure. My response to this challenge will be to eliminate offensive language with this team.

Lead anything and you will surely be crucified for caring. Your job, if you’re a leader, is to challenge your team and make them do what they can. Your job is to inspire and motivate your team to build capacity in proper relationship to challenge. Sometimes you overwhelm them. Sometimes you bore them. Your aim is to find the sweet spot right on the edge of the challenge zone just before you send ’em into panic. Expect resistance from the masses and train your brain to focus on the few.

Today, another young lady sent me the sweetest note regarding her builder’s journey toward her opus. She thanked me for offending her. FM, baby.

Last night, Taylor, told me about how offended he was in the moment when his longtime soccer coach called him out for not bringing the ball down to his foot and playing it to a teammate before it touched the ground. “Dad, I thought he was calling me out for something in front of my team. I thought I had made a good play and he stopped practice to tell me I could have done it in one step instead of two. I thought he was being ridic.” As Taylor reflected on his learning from his teaching moment, he told me that Coach was right. “I could do it better and once I tried it on my own, I did.” Tay, like all of us, has a hard time hearing tough truth. All humans gotta build their capacity to hear truth. Hearing doesn’t mean responding. Hearing simply means you let it in. The strong hear lots of noise and are very selective what they let stick. Good. All of us, however, gotta get better at hearing and letting in what is offensive to our ears and I’m not talking about foul language…

Leaders, do not shy away from delivering messages the masses don’t want to hear. You few who are reading this rant with the aim of mastering your craft, develop the discipline of hearing hard truths regarding your performance. Develop an appetite for getting better so the hard facts don’t make you bitter. Tay took it. His touch went from two to one. What, friend, are you doing with hard truth as it hits you? What are you doing to hear offensive words without shutting down? Are you too easily offended? Are you too offensive?

We all gotta lean against our tendency, don’t we. Good…

1 thought on “Offensive…

  1. Never replied to one of these, but I hope my suggestion reaches someones ears.. as this song I just heard is like BTL in a few min song…. “I believe” By SOJA, feat. Michael Franti

    I think one of my new favorites!

    -Kyra Jones

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