As humans we’ve been primed to believe the lowest bid wins. This is true at auctions and false in love. When it comes to love we tend to avoid loss more than go for the win. So, when a few bids go mostly un-noticed or, even worse, extract a negative response, we tend to go turtle and stop bidding. Not good.
Here are some facts to make this tangible. According to Dr. John Gottman and his freakin’ magic research in the Seattle love lab, husbands headed for divorce disregard their wives’ bid for connection 82% of the time. Husbands in healthy marriages, however, disregard bids only 19% of the time. Wives are a bit better as the ones headed for divorce disregard hubby bids 50% of the time, while women in healthy relationship only disregard 14% of their husbands bids. However, these aren’t the most compelling facts around the power of your bids. Happy couples bid more.
When it comes to love, the highest bidder wins. Happy couples out bid the unhealthy ones by nearly 50% a day. This extrapolates to a stunning mountain of accepted bids that is built in the relational bank account of happy couples. The more a couple bids, the higher the mountain of evidence around them that they’ve built something substantial between them. This is good.
So, when these, healthy couples have a few bids end up in death valley, they can always look at the mountain of evidence toward the contrary. Emotional bids are the currency of relationships. Healthy couples bid the most. Don’t miss this. Actually, don’t miss your loved one. He or she is probably bidding for something from you now. Thanks for your attention. I hope this reminds you to turn your attention toward your best bidder.