Couples that last a lifetime and ones that divorce have the same amount of conflict according to research done by John and Julie Gottman. Are you kidding me? Nope, you see 69% of marital conflict is perpetual in both kinda couples. One learns to laugh; the other learns to loathe. The key lies in the funniest of places. The key to learning to laugh, not loathe, lies in the couples ability to “work it out” early and often. Couples that work it out learn how to talk about what they want and respond positively to each others bids, more often than normal. Normal is not the one you want.
However, the key lies in a couples ability to get comfortable being uncomfortable 69% of the time. Yes, you are reading correctly; get comfortable being uncomfortable. This will be real, hard, work. Remember, 69% of conflict is perpetual. Meaning a bunch of bids are going to come up empty if you don’t learn to laugh about what seems like such a pisser in the present. And, you have to learn to resolve the resolvable – the 31%. Too often couples “haven’t had the time or are just done with it” by the time they finally get around to working it out. Not good.
Today, learn how to love. Learn how to talk. Speak ccd (clear, concise, direct) and from the heart. Tell your partner what you want and why. Ask them what they want. Give each other what you can and learn to laugh about the 69% where you’re coming up empty. Hear the yearning in your partners words, not the whining. Prime yourself to hear “wants,” not whines. STOP your pa (passive aggressive) ways and learn the power behind real PA (productive action). Too many couples don’t know how to fight fair. Funny, it starts with learning how to give what you want. Simple. Want better relationships? Let me practice being ccd and give you the root PA you’ve been looking for. Here it is. Do NOT miss this.
Give what you want. Good…