Today, in one on one practice with a booming, business owner, we started with his writing around his self talk and how his limiting beliefs have more power than his positive ones. I asked how often he hears his historic rewind of “you don’t have what it takes” and his second favorite, “you don’t deserve success.” Multiple times a day, he told me. Anytime fear creeps in. Everyday.” Debbiefreakindowner. We talked about the only answer to a negative little voice, is real, hard earned competence.
Confidence and conviction are fueled by competence. We build competence by facing our negative little voice and replacing it with a mantra that gives us energy. The SEAL’S mantra is good. Mine is “keep working.” Rich Nathan, Central Vineyard Pastor’s, favorite is “left foot/right foot.” When we finished talking my client said he’s been working on changing his negative thoughts with his mantra of saying “I’m gonna turn this.”
“No!” I stopped him. Saying things like “I’m gonna turn this” are too outcome oriented. We can’t control outcomes. We can control effort, energy, attitude. Focus here. You see, if you don’t turn it the next day, the little voice gains energy. Say things you can control that are positive. Good.
Confidence and conviction are earned. The best way to become confident is to earn it by focusing on building competence, focus on specific skill development, and have someone make you do what you can. Focus here. Confidence will soon be coming and that little voice doesn’t survive when the mind is made up – when the mind knows – we got this. Good…