Every system is filled with tension. The best kinda tension comes when your system is growing faster than you thought it could. This is fun for awhile. The worst kinda tension comes when your system is receding. No system can survive a deep, relentless recession for long.
Nearly everyday, we the BTL band, help our clients distribute tension to its rightful owner. Tension, remember, is not the problem. Owning more than your own, is. This is painfully obvious to see in other systems than our own. When it comes to seeing this same kinda tension in our own selves, our brain tricks us in a freakin’ million little ways to miss the mark. Look at anybody in your system with the “responsibility” strength and you will most likely see this strength stretched into a nightmare. Why? They can’t see the fact that they “naturally” try to own their weaker partners tension. Why wouldn’t they, they know how to get it done. Their partner, not so much.
High performing systems are filled with tension and the tension is equitably distributed throughout the system. This sounds easy. It’s not. If your system is not growing or as vibrant as you want, take a look around and study the tension. What is its root and where is it most present and why? You will most likely find that tension doesn’t “belong” to its rightful owner. Somebody or some group is pushing their tension to someone or some group that is willing to take it. Not good.
Your job, as a leader, is to distribute the tension in your system to its rightful owner, hold them accountable, challenge them to use the tension to stretch themselves in the right kinda way, and ensure that they understand the consequences that come when they do or don’t. Choose to own your tension, period. Step up and deal with it. And, STOP trying to own anothers.
I feel better already…