When I was in my early 20’s, my friend jmo and I entered a bench press contest. I still remember getting my weight down to 148 lbs and being so proud of benching 240 lbs that day. Of course, I had no business benching that weight on my slight frame. A few months later benching stupid weight wrecked my left shoulder. Fast forward to my 30’s and doing “fly’s” with 50 lb dumbells. Wrecked my right shoulder. I was filled with testosterone and little man syndrome. Took to cycling that same decade and decided enough with the heavy weights. Went all obsessive and did stupid rides from here to Traverse City, Michigan in 3 days. No dumbells. Just dumb.
Left the corporate world in 2002 to start BTL and see where it might take me and a few like minded krazies. Studied like a man possessed and wrote like a man on a mission. Rewrote the playbooks 14 times in the first five years. Couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop. Kept rewriting. Never satisfied. Fueled by more fear than love. Driven.
August 1, 2010.
Seven years ago. The littlest fricker sits me down at Northstar cafe and reads me a little diddy out of some book while I’m downing a biscuit slather with jam. He tells me that I’m skinny fat and might want to reconsider my current course. I fight his advice until I figure out a way to make it my idea. I’d been writing about building a strong core for years back in 2010. Writing but not disciplined in the doing. I blamed my bad shoulders, arthritic left hip, and unlucky genes. Littlest fricker wouldn’t have any of it. So, I bought a door jam pull-up bar, invited him over to the 3PP (push up, pull up, plank, palace) and began to do more than think. I was 51. Couldn’t do one pull up, 10 push ups, or plank for 60 seconds. The littlest fricker was much stronger but backed off to be with me. We would work for 30 seconds and rest for 30. We worked up to working for 60 seconds and resting for another 60. My shoulders hurt and my hip too. The workouts were thirty minutes and felt like about twenty too long.
Today. PJ, Brett, Slo, jmo, Blondie, and my good friend the littlest fricker, worked our strong cores in the 3PP for thirty. We clicked in the pedals around 8bells and headed to Plain City. We rode 41 miles. I refused to let the pace get crazy. I wanted to talk and giggle. So, we did. It was a beautiful morning, too pretty to not take in. I’m 58 now and feel like I’m finally learning how to live. You see, friend, life is an energy management problem. When you run out of energy, you’re dead. Fact.
The world wants us to run on fear. Fear works for a season. Fear, however, comes with some nasty side effects. Fear drains. Fear drove me to prove I could bench, fly, press, ride, and do it all better than you. Fear drove me to compete against you, you see. Today, I’ve discovered the eternal energy and I’m feeling free, light, and strong. Today, I’m running on love in work and life. Love inspires. Instead of trying to compete against you, I’m loving competing, complimenting, and the comradarie of coming alongside you. I’m loving who I’m with and slowing down to not miss the moment. It’s taken me awhile, but I’ve always been a learner, albeit a slow one.
Learn, friend. Don’t beat yourself up about your unforced errors back in the day. We’ve all made a litany of mistakes too numerous to list. Learn. Learn to love more, fear less. Love more. Fear less. God, help me receive. God, help me receive. As God fills, you and I can give from full hearts. Love expands. Good.
Thanks, littlest fricker. Hope these words fill you, expand you. Thanks, again, BIG…