One of my favorite playlists is titled “Macklemore Messes.” This morning I’m listening to a handful of new songs I added to this baby. At the moment the song titled Church Is making me think. You see, my take on “Mac” is that he mostly writes songs about the mess going on in his head. My gosh can I relate. My natural wiring is to catastrophize things and, well, make a mess of things, at least in my mind. I fight this tendency nearly every day and, kinda paradoxically, I also fight the tendency to think I can do almost anything. Yeah, I don’t lack confidence in spite of my catastrophic thinking. Sometimes my over-confidence (arrogance/hubris/cockiness) gets me thinking I can do stuff, push limits, and accomplish things that are “realistically” out of reach. Sometimes this results in freakin’ magic in the makin. Sometimes this gets me out over my ski’s and results in catastrophe.
I am in work in process no different than you my friend. Most of my messes are a result of my mistakes. Sometimes I can’t get out of my own head with negativity and sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. Sometimes I listen well to the wise sage inside and sometimes I listen to my inner idiot. Life lessons and loss teach us all more than winning season after winning season. You may be fortunate, friend, to mostly chalk up victory after victory and have it going on, you know? You may be filled with a strong sense of self. You may be less fortunate and find yourself filled with fear, insecurity, and doubt. You may lack a sense of who you are or fear, worse yet, that who you are is one, big, failure.
See yourself friend, as I believe your Creator does. You see, aint none of us whole. All of us are broken vessels, leaking, and looking for someone or something to stop the bleeding. We are, I believe, looking in all the wrong places when we limit our gaze to what we can see. Look up. Ask God if he sees you for who you really are, ’cause, you know He does. Ask God to guide your mind. Good.
You and I are messes. God sees us as a beautiful mess. God, help me listen to your word; my little voices, not so much. God, help me listen for you. God, help me…