Steer into the love…

You’re driving your car, late at night, on a rain soaked road when your headlights reflect something you don’t really want to see…

Ice.

The car begins to slide to the right and, instantly, you’re smack dab in the middle of a “moment of truth.”  What to do?  There’s no time to think, there’s no time to waste, there’s no time to do anything except simply react.

When I’ve asked that question to many clients, the most common response is an emphatic – “hit the brake.”  This, of course, is the natural reaction to losing control of your car.  You try to get “it” to stop the slide to the right by slowing it’s momentum in that direction. Of course, your mind is screaming you’ve got to somehow slow “it” down. However, after you’ve been trained by a professional driver you’ll discover that hitting the brakes is the absolute worst reaction. The braking takes the weight off the rear wheels and rapidly moves it to the front of the car which can’t be steered when your foot is planted in the brakes. The spin simply accelerates. You just spun your car out of control.  Yikes…

The same is true in life.  Many of Y-O-U love those close to you more than you do your cars. Makes sense. And, when Y-O-U see them “sliding on thin ice,” you feel compelled, as if without thinking, to do whatever you can to stop them.  Your attempt to jam on “their” brakes for them is met with resistance. Oftentimes, by them putting more weight behind their words and actions.  Instead of stopping them, just the opposite happens. In essence Y-O-U perpetuate and accelerate their spin out of control. You feel responsible for their action and so you re-double your effort to stop them.  You become more and more distressed by their resistance and soon you feel like you too are out of control.  And, most likely, you are. We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

Let’s slow down and return to the physics of controlling a car that is beginning to slide.  What would the professional driver tell us to build into our second nature? This could be huge.  Do not miss this. The professional driver, when sliding to the right, steers into the slide.  Quickly.  Instantly. Counter-intuitively.  Once the car straightens itself out the driver counter-steers until the car’s weight and stance is returned to neutral.  Now and only now can the brakes be applied.  The professional driver does not do what comes naturally.  The professional driver understands fully the physics at play between him and his car.  He or she has practiced over and over how to recover from such a spin.  They have slowly built a better second nature. Their response is better.  They are a virtuous driver.  Make sense?

Now it’s time for Y-O-U to think.

How can Y-O-U and I “steer into it” with those we LOVE and transfer the stress and responsibility to “it’s” rightful owner? How can we steer into the love, friend?

Tell me more, my friend. Tell me more. Good…

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