Today, during practice 42 with a team of leaders, we turned to the culture essential in the playbook. We read and wrote after covering only a few pages of content. We then heard from each of the four teams and got curious. Of course, some healthy conflict bubbled to the surface. A couple of years ago, one shared, this kinda “productive fight” would not have happened. Progress.
Problems are not self healing. Unlike good wine, conflict with another does not get better with age. The reason some of our conflict comes out as harsh and hard to hear is because it’s been sitting in our craw for way too long. Stuff in your craw gets kinda crummy and more critical as it sits there waiting for the right moment to come clean. Funny, the right moment rarely appears before something wrong comes out of our mouth.
So, friend, stop waiting. Initiate a hard conversation that you know needs to happen. Start it out by humbling admitting that you know you’re part of the problem. Nothing takes the edge off like a soft setup to a hard truth. Nothing is softer than a humble human who is willing to hear both sides around any tough topic. And, remember, most of our conflict is a conversation with ourselves. Kinda like me learning how to click into my new cycling pedals this weekend, it’s not the bike or the other person that needs to change – it’s me.
So, friend, what is the right moment for dealing with your conflict? Should you let it out in the open air or hold it in and let it accumulate more crud in your craw? You choose. Your choices have consequences.