Recently, we had a fight during team practice. The fight was to prove a point. Do not fight to prove a point, friend. I have mastered this unproductive way of fighting and have had to work really hard to stop proving I’m right, and of course you’re wrong. Nobody wins when teammates fight to prove points.
You and your team get better when you master the fight to improve performance. These fights don’t feel at all similar. You know when your aim is to make you and your teammates better and you know when you want blood, when your aim is getting even, you know man, when revenge is on your mind. These are unproductive fights. Stop trying to prove your point. Fight, instead, to improve performance. I’ve written this rant a million times (exaggeration, I know, Jigglemuff) and will write it a million more.
Revenge, remember, is the oldest motivator of humankind. Evolve beyond this primal motive, my friend. I’ll be right there beside you trying to evolve as well. Ain’t none of us arrived at the virtuous state of rising above it. Keep working. Endure. Keep repairing. Grace. Peace. Keep moving forward, friend.
The best teams have conflict – lots of it. The difference is in how they handle it. The best teams don’t fight to prove a point. Instead, they fight to improve performance. These fights don’t feel at all alike. The latter feels like it’s aim is to find the highway, make another do what they can, and push forward even when it’s a painful push. Conflict is not going away. Master the right fight, friend.
I feel calmer already…