So, friend, you want to help your loved one. They seem to want your help too. I mean come on man, they love to unload their day’s stuff when you share a Chardonnay at the end of the day. You know what they need too and are willing to lend a hand as well as your opinion. This aint your first Rodeo, you know. So, it’s only natural to fix ‘em, isn’t it?
Nope, it’s not.
Here’s the truth. Ninety nine out of one hundred times, your partner does not need you to fix them. Ninety nine percent of the time your partner needs you to understand them, listen to them, offer to help them, and support them by simply hearing them. Your partner, just like you, needs someone who gets them. So, friend, remember to stop trying to fix those with whom you’ve taken up residence. Simply be with, ask them how you can help, acknowledge their pain and suffering, share in their joy, enjoy their presence, get lost in learning about their day, and hold your two cents to yourself.
Your partner does not need fixing. Your partner needs a hand to hold onto, a shoulder to lean on, and a human who gets her/him. Funny, when a person has another such person beside them they tend to figure it out. Today, like most everyday, I was reminded of this truth.
Hope it’s helpful, friends…