The process of maturing is difficult not because it is hard to learn new things and accept larger responsibilities such as partner, spouse, friend, and father. Maturation is difficult because of all the unlearning. Personal and collective transformation requires more unlearning than learning. If you have a hard time with repentance, this is a sure sign of immaturity. Most transformation starts with unlearning. What habit is holding your mind captive, friend? What signature strength/tendency do you need to lean against (see unlearn)?

This past week one of my clients began the process of unlearning a signature habit that’s holding him back. It hurt him acutely to awaken to this reality, decide to change his mind, and then act into it. This, friend, is difficult. Unlearning, btw, is almost impossible a lone. All of us have blind spots especially when it comes to over reliance on a strength. Unlearning is difficult to do when we’re young and the ego is chasing shiny, new objects as if nothing that’s already been done is worth doing again and again and again in search of a better way. Unlearning is difficult when we can’t seem to find the time to slow down and sit for awhile, quietly, in our room. It’s easy to learn new things and take on more, friend. Maturation is mostly unlearning, however. Transformation starts here. Slow down and sit with this thought for awhile. Slow down and reflect, friend.

God, help me slow down and focus on unlearning some of what I already know. God, help me – “Hey did you see that beautiful Red Robin that just flew by the window?” “Damn it was so pretty and flying so perfectly, like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” Where were we…

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