One of my greatest strength is accepting and taking responsibility. Our greatest strengths, leader, when overly leaned into can become our biggest problem. I tell my clients all the freakin’ time to control what they can control, stop resulting, and pass the tension to it’s rightful owner. I suck at taking my own advice. Most of my sleepless nights are a result of being overly responsible. I can’t shut my mind from thinking about a practice, client, or some other situation that is well outside of my control. I mean come on, Chet, you quote Rich Nathan (Great, freakin’ teacher) “Only speak to those that are turned toward you.” Yet you get all bent about those turned away or turned against. This kind of bullshit drives me nuts. And the funny thing is, I’m the problem.
You too may be an overly responsible leader. We see lots of them in this great gift we call BTL. Do not make the same mistake as I’ve made. Make your peace with your place. Lean against owning outcomes, resulting, and blaming yourself for whatever goes down. You and I barely have control of ourselves. Focus your energy on your twenty square feet. Fill your inner space with more and more love. Fill ‘er up. Top off your inner tanks with the most pure fuel on the planet – Love.
Make peace with your place. Do not forget this. Nothing drains us more than applying energy to correcting people who are outside of our control. Speak to those turned to you. Do not chase those turned away or against you with words. This takes way too much energy and is foolishness. Build wisdom. Control what is controllable. Make peace with your place. Others cannot take your energy unless you let them. Stop this, Chet, you big, dumbass. You are better than this and you know it. Stop playing in others place. Pass the tension. Make your peace. Remember the advice of a powerful, wise eighteen year old named Miles. As Miles, who lay dying of osteosarcoma, a soft tissue cancer that wrecks it’s way inward until it finds bone, told my client just before he passed – “Keep fighting. Stop struggling.” He died in peace because he made peace with his place. My oh my do I have lots to learn.
God, help me make more peace. God, help me make peace with my place. It is not my job to turn every team into the highest performance collection of people on the planet. It is my job to model the way, embrace pain and suffering, and embody truth in love. It is my job to give everyone my best opus and leave it to them to decide what, if anything, to do with it. God, it feels so much freer to make peace with my place. God, help me keep fighting the good fight and lose the struggle. God, help me. Good.
Live hard. Love harder (Thanks, Teeks)…