Every system is filled with tension.
Today, I helped a client distribute the tension in their system to its rightful owner. Tension is not the problem. Owning more than your own is. This is painfully obvious to see in other systems than our own. When it comes to seeing this same kinda tension in our own selves, our brain tricks us in a freakin’ million little ways to miss the mark. Look at anybody in your system with the “responsibility” strength and you will most likely see this strength stretched into a nightmare. Why? They can’t see the fact that they “naturally” try to own their teammates tension. Why wouldn’t they, they know how to get it done. Their teammate, not so much…
High performing systems are filled with tension and the tension is equitably distributed. This sounds easy. It’s NOT. We have an abundance of anxiety in many of our leaders today. They are on their heels instead of toes. They don’t believe and we all see it. This cripples their leadership. Nobody follows an anxious, tension owning leader for long. Nobody exceptional, that is.
Your job, as a leader, is to distribute the tension in your system to its rightful owner.
Your job is to tell them the truth in love before it ages poorly into truth in anger. No bullshit. Truth. Use few words. Pierce them with your clarity. Do this early and often and as Jesus said in John 8:32, it will set you free. Truth is always the aim, leader. Fact. Your job is to hold teammates accountable, challenge them to use tension to stretch themselves in the right kinda way, and ensure they understand the consequences that come when they do and when they don’t.
Choose to own your shit, period. Step up and deal with your own tension. This is responsible. STOP trying to own another’s. This is irresponsible. Truth. The truth will set you free, but only if you get through the miserable reality of looking for it and acting on what it tells you when you find it. What tension are you holding onto out of fear? What tough conversation and you having with yourself, your builder, but not it’s rightful owner?
Live hard. Love harder…