Day 4 (Self centered and other controlling)…

You and I cannot truly give ourselves to another, or to anything, until we’ve flipped ourselves into someone CORE centered and self controlling. This is grueling, relentless, and revealing. Few have the stomach for it. Most of us settle for being less self absorbed than our neighbors and leave it at that. The CORE centered trust themselves in spite of themselves. None of us is perfect. We’re all broken vessels. Some of us are clearly cracked and leaking water. Most aren’t so lucky. Most of us are filled with hairline fractures that we mostly manage through some form of chronic pain suppressors. Nobody sees. Nobody notices. We believe our bullshit. Works for awhile.

Shit, eventually, gets real. Hairline fractures turn into broken limbs. We go from walking with a limp to flat on our back. So, friend, when you think about where you are on the continuum of self centered/other controlling to CORE centered/self controlling, remember to come clean. Get to the root. Get dirty. Seek truth. Be truer. It may make you miserable before it sets you free.

Today, I got back after it with my first client practice in 21. We got to the root. Reminded me how high the bar for the Builder. I’ve not arrived. I’ve got work to do to eradicate fear and trust myself enough to hit client after client with truth in love. Sounds easy. It is not. I too want to control what others think of me and sometimes play small out of fear. I hold back instead of hit. I tell myself they can’t handle the truth, at least not yet. Truth is I can’t handle it.

I’m after more truth and it’s not all sunshine and butterflies. Truth hurts. Truth heals. Truth does not harm. Good start to 21, friends. Good work getting to the root, at least in practice one of 21. Lets see how we are in practice two and then again in three. Be less self centered and other controlling. Care less without caring less. Be truer. Good…

3 thoughts on “Day 4 (Self centered and other controlling)…

  1. Today I will remind myself to be present in every moment, to reflect (slow down) on my response to every situation, to focus on the desired outcome, particularly as it concerns the well-being of others. I will open my heart to the Living Word (Man does not live by bread alone…) and seek to be a conduit for his will and purpose, through me, toward others. I will remind myself that it’s not about me, it never is about me, and when I think it is about me, there is something more that needs to be found out, dealt with, crucified and killed so that He can have His Way in and through me. There is always something more.

  2. I am continually amazed at how BTL and parenting are one. I’ve spent a lot of time the past week or so learning, thinking, reading, reflecting and writing. In being CORE centered, I’ve created action steps and I’ve been talking with my family about these action steps. The kids have begun asking some new questions, and have planned out their day in the planners I gave them. Not because I asked them to. Because I showed them by example. They’ve come alongside. We had a great talk over Christmas Break about Alive time (thanks Ryan Holiday) and they are looking for ways to be more alive – to use their time well. My son asked to read my Bible with me this morning. My daughter asked to knock out some pull ups when she was in a funk they other day. The more I am CORE centered, and the less I try to control them, the more they look in and do what’s best for them. They are 7 and 9, and further along than I was at 40. So, so GOOD.

    My builder once gave me the name Fisherman, from Matthew 4:19. As I spent time here this morning I thought about Jesus, and whether he played it safe, played small, kept the circle tight. We all know the answer to that. He worked on his CORE. He knew who he was. He Modeled the way. He spoke truth in Love. And he went out in the world and got after it.

    Day 4, and this journey is incredible. Thank you.

  3. Becoming ONE requires far more reflection and self-evaluation than I would have imagined. As I am working to define my beliefs, the more challenging piece is to now audit my actions to determine whether or not I am living in alignment with them. This, is hard work. Habits and expectations make is so easy to fall back into old ways. I will say, it is far EASIER ignoring the dissonance than it is to face the reality of some of the gaping integrity gaps in my life.

    First off, I am continually defining and deepening my beliefs, because I cannot live in alignment with them if I have not done the hard work to identify them. Secondly, I am putting productive action towards those gaps. I know this will be a lifelong process, constantly working to live with purpose and intention.

    Integrity Gap – I have come to believe that my attention, where I give my time and focus to, is one of the most valuable resources I have, yet I often spend it freely without consideration. I have identified my top priorities and have started to schedule these items in my calendar FIRST. For too long I have allowed the important, but not urgent, things in my life to take the backseat to things that are more often than not just the loudest/nosiest. I have a long road ahead of my, but I’m on my way.

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