Morning practice is canceled. I could sleep in. A French pastry and coffee is calling my name. I’m drawn. Sadness fills my soul. Steve, our dear brother, has breathed his last into his one, worn out lung. The docs said he should have left us much earlier. He had a strong will to live. He was driven and drawn…
You, friend, have been given the gift of this moment. Don’t be normal and trudge along filled with dread, drudge, and our newfound favorite – distraction. Wake up. This life is a gift with a built in expiration date. Burn out bright being who God created you to be. Burn out bright being good, doing good, and being with those placed in your path. Life is poison and wine, bitter and sweet, and both blessed and el bumero. Focus on the good. Walk on.
This morning, I’m choosing to wake up. This morning I’m going to walk on. Walk on. Drawn…
BUILT TO LEAD 
Drudge, driven or drawn… I believe the majority of my labor falls within the drudge and driven categories. Hard to admit, but I’m working on transparency here, right? As I have followed BTL over the years the concept of OPUS, a real labor of love, seemed so foreign to what I grew up around. Most of those closest to me had jobs primarily as a means of creating income. Much of the time was spent looking forward to the weekend, counting down the days until Friday. A simple litmus test for me is that… am I more excited for Monday or for Friday. There is a lot of truth revealed by that answer. I don’t want to spend the majority of my life counting down the days. Currently there is a clear line between labor and leisure, work and play.
I’m also driven. Driven to succeed, driven for income (which is needed), driven by status, driven in my comparison of others… A good majority of these motivators have been hardwired into by how the world defines “success.” Funny how none of these things have brought long-term happiness. Perhaps because they are the wrong measuring sticks for me. Meaning over metrics, I’m beginning to find some clarity here. What’s any of this even matter if I’m using someone else’s score card to grade my success?
Drawn… not there yet, but working towards it.
What a gift the moment is…last night at the dinner table one of our questions from the question jar that we use to stimulate conversation was “if you could be best at something, what would it be?”
Sometimes these questions get silly, sometimes we learn things about each other in our little family of four thanks fills our cup right up.
It was a tough fathering day, and so I said, I would like to be the best dad ever. My 9 year old daughter looked at me and said, “you need another answer, because you already are the best dad ever.” I melted. Somehow this came from her on a day where I thought I had faltered over and over.
I tried to sit in that moment a long time. It was a great reminder of drawn. Drawn towards love and relationship and sitting in those moments. I slept well, and woke ready to get after it today.
I’m sorry for your loss, but I know that peace fills Steve now, and that he rests well with his creator. Peace to you all.
Well it’s day 21 and I’m writing about day 19…drudge. But I’m driven by the accountability of this public forum to write my part. The good news is that throughout these past few days, regardless of what I’m doing, my thoughts have been running to the rinsing process of building my OPUS, particularly my CORE. I’ve been mulling over bits that I’ve heard and whether they have become “world view worthy.” I’ve been thinking about how to articulate what I will or won’t do. I’ve been stealing bits of time at day’s end to add my thoughts to the text. I’m drawn to the process. Yes!