My greatest fear is not being known and never really knowing anyone. Fact.
Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of people and a few know me. But what does it even mean to be known and to know? There are depths to each of us deeper than the deepest sea with breadth as wide as our ever expanding universe. I mean c’mon man, what else could it be if you really believe we’re ALL made in the image of God. We have become a surface society. We live veneer lives. We dance on the surface and are far too easily satisfied. We are meant for more, yet we mostly run. We run from knowing ourselves, our loved ones, and our few. We settle for knowing enough.
We believe the path to peace must be found in knowing more and doing even more. We want to know more things, discover more hacks, and do more with virtual reality. Dealing with the real you and me – not so much. We know a lot about people we’ve never met and very little about those we’re with. We chase social media acceptance and likes but can’t sit still, keep our mouth shut, and let a friend over share about something we’ve heard a hundred times already. We have lots of sex and little intimacy. We have money and spend it seeking meaning. We seek dopamine hits and highs. We can’t handle sitting with someone hurting who can’t manage a smile. We show the best parts of ourselves and fixate on the insecurities of others. We need to go back to kindergarten and remember what really matters.
So, today, during practice 27 with a team I love, we went back to kindergarten and talked with a bit more childlike curiosity and clarity. We didn’t sugarcoat shit and didn’t take away another’s shine. We spoke more truth and sent more love. We learned lil Bobby and I want more of the same thing. We both want to be deeply known and don’t understand why it’s so damn hard. We shared vulnerability, you know. He with his teammates and me with one of my apprentices. You see, friend, it is more blessed to give than to receive. Want to be deeply known? Never stop being insatiably curious about knowing your few, your spouse, lover, and even your hard to know father.
Stop running long enough to sit, you know. Slow down. 7&7, remember, is more than a good, hard drink. 7&7 is a gift of knowing you, the real you. Invest wisely. Know thyself (Thanks, Socrates). To thine own self be true (Thanks, Shakespeare). Fear not (Thanks, God), for I know you and have known you before you were born. Come to me for my heart is gentle and lowly (Thanks, Jesus). Today, give more than you take from your few. Give more. It is more blessed to give than receive (Thanks again, Jesus).
When was the last time you came clean with yourself and took the freakin’ crazy risk to open the hell up to another? Intimacy is a lovely aim, right? Yes, yes it is. And just like the truth, it will set you free – someday. In the meantime, however, it just might make you miserable (Thanks, Richard Rohr). Damn. Dancing on the surface is attractive ‘cause it’s easier. So, what do you want? Knowing more or settling for knowing enough? Being known (depth and breadth) or settling for surface? You choose. Your choices have consequences. Now you know a little more about me. Thanks for reading. What’s your greatest fear, friend?
Live hard. Love harder…
1 thought on “My greatest fear…”
Thank you, Chet, for this beautiful honesty. Your message challenged me to ID my greatest fear. I have lived through hard MOT’s in work and life (too many to list). By God’s grace, I’ve survived and thrived. By God’s grace. Totally. Combined with strong Core work, of course. Essential.
My hardest MOT’s in life and work have revealed my greatest fear, and here it is: not living out, in my short time on this planet, God’s calling and purpose for my life. I don’t fear death. I know Whose I am and who I am, I know why I’m here. I know where I’m going after my last breath. All good. Can’t wait, in fact! However… I don’t want to miss His Why for my time on this planet.
God, help me to live out Your reason for creating me in this time on Your creation calendar, to serve those you connect me with, to invest in and Build those You entrust to me. I am humbled by the blessing of this calling. Lord, help me. And thank You for the joy in the journey. Thank you.