Here is a C.S. Lewis thought through my matrix. I am living this. You, most likely, are too. Seems to me to be part in parcel to what it means to be human.
Here it is. When we injure another through our words or deeds we “feel” as if they have merely been delivered a passing blow. No big deal. We have simply pricked them with a pin.
Reverse roles. When we are on the receiving end of said pinprick, we feel as if we’ve been cut to the bone.
Normal leaders tell their team and peers to “get over it” we’ve got real work to get accomplished. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with your “feelings.” In fact, your feelings are not right or wrong their just different than mine. Move on. Buck up. These normal leaders get exactly what they deserve. They get a team that will NOT go through the wall, not generate the NEXT big idea, and definitely NOT be memorable. This team, like so many I study, is transactional.
The BTL leader is weird. They feel the pain and the disconnect among their team even when they are NOT the cause. They are in the repair and restore business. They ask really good questions. They feel the cut to the bone. The team feels understood. Situational TRUST is being built. Situational trust is when the team feels that their leader understands them and their situation. Magic.
This team becomes transformational. They become a team that is remarkable. We remember.
Building transformational teams is what we get paid to do. This is the hardest, most satisfying work I’ve ever been apart of. The hardest part, by far, is not in building these teams. The hardest part is being such a team.
How well do you understand every member of your team?
How well do they “feel” understood by you?
How do you know?
How do you repair and restore your team members?
If someone on your team is not worth understanding why are they on your team?
How do you keep score?
Raise the bar.
Raise the bar.
Raise the bar.
BUILT TO LEAD 