Resilience, as defined by Mirriam Webster is, “the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.” In other words, we humans, if we’re resilient, are going to bounce back when boyfriends betray, girlfriends go away, sons are taken, divorce divides, disease descends, gravity grabs, and all kinda adversity knocks us on our collective backside. Fact – there is no bouncing back. Resilient or not, we cannot go back.

There is no bouncing back for my right shoulder. None. No matter what I do, it’s never going back the way it once was. You see, my AC joint is gone and no surgeon can find it and put it back. My only option is to learn how to operate my right side without it. My only option is to work my way through it – yes, through.

The same is true for all adversity. You and I do not bounce back. The resilient response is through – move through. As Eric Greitens writes in his book titled, Resilience “To be resilient, you must understand that your objective is not to come to rest, because there is no rest. Your objective is to use what hits you to change your trajectory in a positive direction.” Hemingway further hammers it home when he famously wrote this: “The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”

So, friend, take solace in knowing you are not alone and your aim isn’t to bounce back. It feels good to let go of that aim, at least for me. Make your peace with your bumps and bruises and even some of those who seemingly still provide ’em. Your aim is to keep moving through. Through.

Thanks, Rich, for introducing me to Eric. Thanks, Durp, for stopping your work at the 3PP but not moving through own 3P’s. Thanks, CBear, for not stopping when hearts all around you seem to be. Thanks, Miss, for not stopping when your body is in betrayal. Thanks, Mom, for carrying on 20 years by your lonesome and moving through it to give courage to those just starting to get into it. Thanks, Gurue, for moving through your loss and finding your Lord. And, thanks Grappy for giving me an example of what a man looks like when he resolves to move through.

Move through, friend. There’s no returning to the way you were. There’s no going ’round the pain. There’s no going back. Through. Good…

1 thought on “Through…

  1. Toto this is one to star for all-time. One of the principles Connie and I learned facilitating a GriefShare class at our church is, like so many things in life you pointed out, “grief is not something you get OVER, it’s something you work THROUGH.

    If this finds you in some kind of trial or pain, keep working THROUGH it. Keep working.

    Together We Improve.

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