As I reflect back on our life with Tank, it’s clear the reason for the overwhelming sense of loss – an abundance of love. The more we love, friend, the more we lose something/someone when they are gone. Love anything and your heart will surely be broken, C.S. Lewis reminds us. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will be become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
As Mother Teresa shared more recently in regard to the risk of love – “Love, anyway.”
This is why at BTL we want you to learn to bathe in love. The act of writing your “I love to’s” is not so much an exercise as a way of life – a life of love. We see so much fear fueled behavior in the world that we tend to miss how much love is here keeping us from self destruction and human anilation. Love does keep us together. Fact. So, today, our family is still feeling the loss of our beautiful Tank and our hearts are full of Tanknut love. Here’s a few of my love to’s around him. He may not be with me today but these loves are. FM, baby.
I love to:
Cuddle anywhere with Tank. Sit with him at his post and talk about his purpose in guarding his yard and pack (he listened better than any other Scott ever). Take walks with Tank, Miss, and Jo Jo (He let Jo lead when he was a young pup and slowly took his place at the front). Watch you come in from doing your business outside and spin around and leap for joy knowing a little treat was coming your way. Rub your belly and ears and fill your heart with my love through words that came straight from mine to yours. Open my office door after a client call and see you laying there taking it all in. Watch you dig into your toy bag and pick the perfect toy for that moments play and the way you left your toys out, very strategically, in your favorite places around your housee. Listen to you howl like a wolf and then bark as hard as you can to get Jo to join in. Watch you howl in joy when ever we Skyped with one of your pack. Talk you out of hiding under the bed, the way you would come out ever so slowly. Comfort you when that darn pressure cooker was doing its thing. Give you a tiny treat and watch the way you took them from anyone – so gentle and so appreciative. Be with you on the office floor and just rub up against your warm, strong back. Carry you like my baby. Watch you romp in the snow, play with your treats, lay by our Miss, jump on the couch with Tay, greet Sister Sue at the front door, and so much more. I love to hold onto memories of you and cry tears of sorrow combined with tears of admiration and joy.
So, family, friends, and clients, when we ask you to throw up thousands of love to’s as part and parcel to building a strong BTL core, you now know a bit more about mine (with regard to my animal) and hopefully you have a deeper sense of why it matters. The more we love the greater our sense of loss and the more sweet memories remain. Focus, friends, on the sweet memories that remain.
Life is an energy management problem. Love is pure energy.
Today, the Scott family are hurting deeply because of our love loss, and at the same time so filled with joy. Tank was a beautiful mess, just like you and me. Together, our beautiful messes (and they are always aplenty) made each of our lives more complete and more vulnerable. Thanks, family, friends, and clients for the love you’ve showered our way.
To love is to be vulnerable. Love anyway, friends. Love, anyway…